Austin Folk House Bed and Breakfast Hotel
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The Star of Texas Inn - our sister property

The unromantic "I am dumping you" package

Not every relationship works out. We understand if you have a hard time letting your significant other know that time is up.

We present this package as a balance to our Couple's Package. The items below are meant to help foster an atmosphere of healthy discussion about the future - ridicule, yelling and indignation.

Make sure you call far ahead - we have a particularly well insulated room for you.

Peeps

Nothing says "I don't care anymore" like Peeps. No one is quite sure what they are, or why they taste so bad. The texture is totally alien to this world. Experiments are ongoing.

Your no-longer-loved-one will definitely have a bit of suspicion upon eating one.

Street vendor roses

Street vendor roses are the most shallow way to say "I care", and therefore the most insincere. They actually say, "I never really cared in the first place".

Yanni

Yanni says, "I am hopelessy romantic for no reason. I can't possibly be serious". Yeah, Yanni says this and much more. He says, "I can't believe it's not music!", and other fantastically bad things.

Ok, I never gave Yanni much of a chance, but the whole flute-long hair-bad music thing got to me pretty quick.

We don't actually provide a Yanni cd, by the way. We will provide you with convenient 1-800 number to call.

This became strangely more appropriate now that he has been charged with domestic abuse.

Wax bottles

Wax bottles are a lot like a bad relationship. Sometimes sickeningly sweet, sometimes just sick, these goodies will definitely get set the mood to "what the Hell was I thinking?".

Crappy Beer, Fine Wine

One thing that "breaking up" and "hooking up" have in common is alcoholic fireworks. We highly recommend some quality wine for one, and some crappy beer for the other.

Our example here is some Japanese knockoff of a popular domestic beer of questionable quality. You can request the beer of choice, but there is a generic called "Sportz" available at the dominant chain of grocery stores nearby. We recommend that one.

Cheap, watery beer

Candy cigarettes for when the deed is done. You know, you're alone, and your ex is staying somewhere else

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